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Jan 25, 2011

Aku Benci Dia


Kawan ke Lawan ?


Menyampah la dgn kawan yg tak macam kawan. Kawan ke Sahabat? Ke hanya kenalan ? Dulu-dulu aku ingat aku kawan je. Lama sikit pastu aku ingat kau sahabat. Hrmmm tapi sekarang aku rasa aku hanya lah kenalan.


"Friends do come and go"


Bukan ape. Aku dah rasa macam aku je yg selalu terhegeh-hegeh nak merapatkan diri dan nak dianggap sebagai "bestfriend kononnya". Maybe bukan perasaann aku lg yang hanya beranggapan aku yg terhegeh-hegeh sbb dia sendiri pernah melontarkan statement sebegitu pada rakan-rakan lain. Walau dia hanya mengatakan itu hanya satu gurauan. Wah! Gurauan yg sgt hebat gitu. Memberi satu tamparan hebat !



"I promise that I can move on and be much better without you in my life ! "


Aku bukan nak jd jahat, tp aku harap dia rasa apa yg aku rasa. hahah jahat kan :P


"I belive in karma, what goes around, comes around "


Harap lepas ni, aku tak de la marah-marah pasal dia lagi sbb aku pun dah penat. Lebih baik menghargai org yg menghargai kt. :) Tahun depan dimintak kan la dijauhi oleh org2 seperti minah ni. hahah. amin.....



p/s : maaf la, entri kali ini hanya sekadar luahan hati ntah ape2.

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Jan 21, 2011

Ada Waktunya


...terasa diri begitu kuat hingga boleh menangkis segala cabaran yg dtg tapi

ada waktunya diri terasa lemah bila setiap cabaran yg dtg diiringi dengan tangisan dlm diam

...terasa diri begitu sabar setanding Aishah tapi

ada waktunya api kemarahan meruntuhkan tiang kesabaran dan keimanan

...terasa diri begitu tabah hingga setiap kata2 yg menyinggung perasaan dibalas dengan senyuman tapi

ada waktunya kata2 itu begitu menjeruk perasaan hingga meleraikan perasaan kasihan

...terasa diri ingin bebas terbang seperti camar tapi

diri ini selama-lamanya takkan mampu meleraikan ikatan yang merantai pergerakan...

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Jan 19, 2011

Book Reading

So what did I do the whole day of yesterday ?

Read.

Have no Astro in my house so could only watch DVDs. But I have exhausted all of them before I was immobilised and there is only so much of Airbender I could take, no matter how much I love it.

So I read. Started with Meg Cabot's Mediator series which was nice. Covered 2 books in like 2 hours. Then started with the Vanished series and I was hooked line and sinker ! It was awesome.

It is about this 16 year old girl who got struck by lightning and suddenly she would know the whereabouts of missing people by looking at their pics. I do find the protagonist a bit rude and very rough but I love the romance Meg Cabot had written for her.
Jess fell in love with a senior from the wrong side of town whom she met in detention. The way she described him was how I would describe the person(s) of my interests when I was just that age.

I could connect with Jess, the way she feels and the way she wondered if this boy shares her feelings.. because I too were like that. So whenever Rob showed any interest, I grinned stupidly like how I grinned stupidly 20 years ago (yikes !)when a boy I liked paid any attention to me no matter how smidgeon. The hearts a flutter, and the euphoria of being noticed just from a smile that he bestowed or if our eyes met, even if it was accidental. Parah kan ?

Aahh.... to be back to those days... the courting and the passing of messages... the "Do you think he likes me ?" and the long hours on the phone with your bestfriend to talk about his hair, and smiles and how he walked and held his files, how he tucked his damn shirt !.... And the heart skipping a beat everytime the damn phone rang ! Or if he stopped to talk to you. Kalau dia ajak pegi library lagi lah, pengsan sekejap (as soon as I reached home of course) before being resuscitated by my bestfriend because we have more urgent to do like choosing an outfit.

Dulu-dulu dating pi library... HAHAHAHAHAH !

So that is why I like that book because it reminds me so much of the delicious yesteryears of being in love.

Heheh !
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Jan 18, 2011

Hantu Keropok Lekor

Siape yang tak makan keropok lekor?
ishh..rugi bebenor
aku memang penggemar tahap mabeless kat keropok lekor ni
orang kata memang hantu keropok lekor
kalau dari Terengganu memang aku suka GILERRR
memang dari kecik aku suka keropok lekor
aku rase tenang bila dapat makan keropok lekor ni tau
BETUL! aku tak tipu
yang ni otak-otak
aku beli masa pi kuantan hari tu kat tanjung lumpur..
perghhhh!! memang terangkat sedap giler

lagi satu aku suka sata
tak sempat nak snap gambar sebab dah
masuk dalam perut aku awal-awal..
hehehe

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Jan 17, 2011

Biarlah Bulan Bicara


This is my favourite "laloq" song for the moment.
It's an old song sang by Broery Marantika.
Broery was famous for his love balads.

Biar Bulan Bicara by Broery Marantika

Bulan sabit
Yang jatuh dipelataran
Bintang redup
Tanpa cahaya gemintang
Langkah tanpa arah
Sesat di jalan yang terang
Aku yang terlena dibuai pelukan dosa

Chorus:
Ingin pulang membalut luka hatimu
Ku pun tahu betapa pedih batinmu
Beri kesempatan atau jatuhkan hukuman
Andai maaf pun tak kau berikan

Air mata tulus jatuh di sudut bibir mu
Tak terlintas dendam di bening mata indah mu
Aku yang merasa sangat berdosa pada mu
Masih pantaskah mendampingi mu

Biar lah bulan bicara sendiri
Biarlah bintang kan menjadi saksi
Tak kan ku ulangi walau sampai akhir nanti
Cukup derita sampai di sini

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Jan 14, 2011

Accept As Is

Someone close accused me of not carrying out my responsibility well.
It hurts when facts are put blatantly upfront.

Yes, I have erred a lot. I am no saint, and neither am I perfect. I make heaps of mistakes. And for that I am sorry. I accept what I did wrong and try to do better next time. But I’m not going to punish myself forever.

To that someone, if you must know, yes, regrets I have a few.

There is regret when I look back and realize that I could have done more.
Yes, there’s also that remorse feeling when I know some of my actions are not right.

To that someone, I’m not in the business of fault finding.
I have too much in life to be spending time doing that.

I’m sorry if life wasn’t fair with you. Yes, I know, I’ve been there: life is never fair. But it’s fantastic. It’s unique, unrepeatable, one of a kind, beautiful, simple, challenging, sweet, hard…

All you need to do is, take a step back and find reasons to love life.
Lighten up. Accept life as it is.


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Jan 12, 2011

Payback Time

The house is so quiet now. Everyone is deep in their slumber. Even the cats are wisely snoring away. Time now is 3.50am; unfortunately yours truly here is still wide awake. I have not managed to close my eyes - not even for a single second, albeit the screaming signs from this old body telling me to unwind and join the rest in slumber. There's just so, so much going on in my mind. Guess it's true when they say only when your mind is at ease; your body is ready to shut down. My mind however is still spinning so fast as if it could fall of its own axis.

So how on earth could I possibly close my eyes?

Yesterday wasn't a virtuous day at work. It started well but ended as if the world had crumbled on me. What a mess it is now and it was never meant to be so. A good intent had gone misinterpreted. I hate it when things are all jumbled up. I loath doing fire fighting and now the brain is working extra hard to find solutions to resolve the so much confusion.

And I for one does not like being in that state of mind.
Unfortunately, free my mind I can't :((

My last two hours was spent BBMing a fellow colleague, trying to make sense of what is happening. Questions in our mind were similar - could trust the people around us or could they just be pure opportunist, putting up a multiple faced front and leading us to the pits? This is so, so difficult - trying to sort the right from the wrong, trying to establish friend from foe.

Well, it's just too bad then if "some people" do not know how to behave professionally. It's just so pathetic if they do not know when and where to draw the line that separates personal from professionalism. They may be enjoying their triumph for now, but little did they know that the joke is on them. We shall wait and see who has the last laugh at the end of this long episode of nonsense.

Perhaps I should start turning a deaf ear from now on and stop entertaining ridiculous requests starting this very moment. So...we'll see what happens after this when no responses towards the text messages sent at those ungodly hours. Hence from now business will strictly adhere to my official office hours - too bad if they had to wait hours for the reply. No way I’m gonna get up from my slumber and entertain your 3.45am request anymore. Wait…just like the rest have to!!

So that’s it folks, Anum is cutting off the life line from now on. If you can’t get her, it means she is deep in her slumber.

It’s payback time, so you wait lah….


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Jan 11, 2011

Blog-silent

It's already 10 days into the new year.
And this is my first entry after keeping blog-silent for a while.
There is actually lots to tell. But time really has not been on my side lately.

The last 10 days has been rough and yes, it will continue on.
So much drama this (my...) life is.....

Gotta go now, hoping to be back (like real soon...)


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Jan 5, 2011

Letting Go....


It's hard letting go
But I must
Change doesn't happen

Hope is hopeless
Hurt is unbearable
Misery grows deep
Loneliness wraps the soul

Purple arms
Pathetic scars
Heart without husk

This small heart can't take no more
This small mind can't forget no more
Accept I must
Move on I will....

Whatever Will Be, Will Be....


She's gone....
Whatever Will Be, Will Be....

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Jan 4, 2011

A New Year’s Prayer

May ALLAH make ur year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;
*
“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace,
And sing more joyful songs!”


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Happy New Year 2011

May your year be full of the things that bring you the most joy and happiness, whether it be family, success, a new job, or relief from pain — or some combination of all of the above
I Wish in 2011 God gives You...
12 Month of Happiness,
52 Weeks of Fun,
365 Days Success,
8760 Hours Good Health,
52600 Minutes Good Luck,
3153600 Seconds of Joy...and that's all!

I wish U to have a …..
Sweetest Sunday,
Marvelous Monday,
Tasty Tuesday,
Wonderful Wednesday,
Thankful Thursday,
Friendly Friday,
Successful Saturday.
Have a great Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR


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